Uneasy

Maybe it is the first time i consider visiting a psychologist. For almost two weeks, i feel uneasy and always want to cry. During my tower period, i also felt the same but at least i knew exactly what the cause was. I won’t say no reason at all for the negative cloud that blanketed …

Kembali ke Aksara

Sudah lebih dari sebulan saya pindah divisi di kantor. Rasanya, seperti tidak percaya. Sejujurnya dalam hal karir, atau hal apapun di dunia ini, saya tidak pernah muluk-muluk. Saya tidak punya target apa-apa dalam hidup ini kecuali tidak mau tergantung dan digantungi oleh orang lain. Kebebasan individu adalah mutlak bagi saya (oh, batasan saya adalah nilai-nilai …

The Future Is Not That Scary

The recent experience of mine has taught me that the future was not as scary as I thought it would be. It was not that the future was less hard that I’ve expected, but because I evidently also has grown. I thought that I would not be able to bear the scariest news I’ve been …

Re-routing

My mind is a deep forest now. A lot of thought are growing, bigger, green and almost covering the sky and preventing the light to come in. I walk towards the treasure location as the map informs. Yet, I am stranded. Excited that I think I’m near, yet confused that I can’t see the road …

What I get from quitting social media

Quitting social media in this noisy age is not a popular choice because it has slowly become a necessity for modern sapiens. However, some people did it. At certain point, some found that such new world has made them out of control and it messed up their mind, including me. I am not a right …

On Death

We often place the death at the negative chamber. We mourn, we’re frightened, we -most of the times-try to avoid it. Yesterday, one of my friends had passed away. Several days before, I visited her and witnessed her crying while wishing that everything would reach the end of tunnel where she could finally be free …

Semua Kemudahan Ini Tidak Gratis

Aku selalu yakin bahwa kemudahan yang kita dapat dari kemajuan teknologi tidak gratis. Seolah-olah teguh dengan prinsip yang tertanam kuat saat kuliah di Fisipol “There’s no such thing as free lunch”, aku percaya ada yang harus kita bayar dengan kedigdayaan teknologi digital ini. Secara sosial mungkin sudah terlihat. Sebagai seorang yang suka kerja di café, …

I Was Tired and Bored, Yet Thinking about Feminism

I was so bored one afternoon. I just finished my work (I worked from home) and near dusk I went outside to my favorite coffee shop to get a proper amount of caffeine. Not only that, actually I intended to finish my writing about music and audience that I was working on. I just needed …

Tower Situation

When I was 21 years old, I used to ask myself, what 29 years old me would be? I didn’t know why the questioned age must be that specific. When the time came, the Universe answered it by giving me the Tower Card. In the tarot world, the Tower card is often interpreted as danger …

How to Survive

The past year has been one of the darkest times in my life. Since the end of last year I’ve been drowning in sadness and depression. I had anticipated that such worst time would come. However, when it came I could not deny that I was a total loser. For the first two months I …